Change is incredibly hard and personal. We mentioned that in our last post (here), but it is also forced. Change tends to require a breaking point. These points can be very tangible and observable, such as the murder of George Floyd or the clear impact of Covid-19.
They can also be very, very subjective. Most personal change will come with a very heavy emotional attachment. This emotion comes from fighting with the “path of least resistance” and in more extreme cases, upending our reality.
Consider how excited you are to work out the day before, and how less excited you are the morning of. A more extreme example would be how you feel about an opinionated family member. No matter how wrong they are, it can feel like moving a mountain to even get them to listen. Ever listen to someone speak about the flat earth?
In both cases the person’s sense of self is being attacked. In the workout example, the daily routine and expected stress in changing. The routine and habit is the person’s life. To adjust or change unnecessarily would be to add extra stress and hardship. This short term fear can easily over power long term gain.
The other case is attacking someone’s worldview. This can vary, and even if all conversations surrounding the idea are polite, it will always be an attack. It can appear as ego, ignorance, evil, frustration, and depression. Conspiracy theorists are the most extreme example. Anything that doesn’t support their world view becomes part of the conspiracy. It is so simple! So not resistant. So unproductive.
To have real change, especially with yourself (we will use health and wellness) staying focused on what you can control and being consistent are the 2 biggest factors. For example, you have your gym time set for 530pm, but a train makes you late and now you can’t make it to the gym. Do you eat Ice cream, or do the best you can to workout at home? Yes, it’s not ideal, yes your routine was upended, but the change you want is still available. Do not settle for easy, settle for complete! Here we remained consistent, stayed positive by focusing on what we could control over what we couldn’t, and our quest for change remains. Best part, it will no longer feel threatening, it will feel familiar.
Why do you want to do what you’re doing or why do you want to do what you’re not doing. These two questions need answers, or else frustration is the only outcome.