How my Mindset has Shifted

In 2013 I missed going to the CrossFit Regionals by a handful of spots.  In 2015 I hit my qualifying totals for the American Open in training, while still being in the top 200 CF Athletes in my region, but had a set back the week of my qualifying meet.  Going to the CrossFit Regionals and the American Open were both big goals for myself.  Both achievable goals when I had them.  Looking back I was a fast responder, got better, faster than most and adapted to the stress.  I also put in the time.  Fast forward to today.  I workout instead of train.  I spend maybe 5 hours a week working out compared to the 12-18hrs a week I used to.  It took me a long time to realize that I won’t compete at the same level I used to and even longer to be ok with it.

My life has changed significantly since I was a competitive weightlifter and exerciser.  I became a business owner, a home owner, a husband and a father.  Not only do I not have the time to work out as much as I used, I don’t really care to.  My time is better spent with my family, my gym, and my members.  I don’t eat as well as I used to, I don’t have as much time to cook and am stressed out more than before.  My health and image reflect this.  I am by no means unhealthy, I am just not what I used to be.  Accepting that has been tough for me.  Learning that I can grow in other places of my life has helped me fill that void that competition left.  It has been a great learning experience.

Our goals in life need to be realistic and change with our priorities.  My six pack is almost completely gone, and I have little interest in putting the time and effort into getting it back.  I will still look fine and be healthy while enjoying my time and spending it on the things currently most important to me.  I spent a lot of my early and late twenties self identifying as an athlete and pseudo fitness model.  My self worth was attached to my looks and performance.  It seems silly now, but who would want to be coached by or be friends with someone who couldn’t do X, Y, or Z (in my head these were Snatch, Snatch and Snatch 250lbs).  It made me hide some of the best parts of myself.  My outgoing personality which is mostly seen at the gym, my amazing sense of humor (just me?), and my ability to identify with others and help them solve their problems.

Becoming an owner was a struggle, I wanted to coach.  Becoming a Father was hard, I never wanted kids.  Becoming a Husband was difficult, I sometimes lack understanding.  With where I am in my life now, getting better at these three things has become the priority.  My goals have been adjusted to become more realistic.  I won’t be able to spend the amount of time to compete or look like I used to and excel at being the Father, Husband and Owner I want to be.  And I am happy with that.  Sometimes we get so obsessed with certain goals that are unreachable with our current lives.  It causes a lot of stress and unhappiness.  It is important to identify where we currently are.  In 5 years I may be in a place to have more time to devote to competing, or I can find new ways to help others.  I’m not sure yet, what I do know is that I only have 24 hours each day, and I finally know how I want to spend it.